How to Avoid Homemaker Burnout and Live a Happier Life
Avoid homemaker burnout and find grace for yourself in this inspiring open article to all women trying their best and feeling like they are falling short.
In this life, it is easy to point ourselves in the direction of perfection. Not realizing that the images we are exposed to that makes us feel the push for perfection are themselves, an illusion. This is because nothing we see ever tells the full story. It never shares the agitation behind the smiles in an image or the mess hidden behind the lens. Yet after a scroll on social media, you as a homemaker, a mother or simply a woman. May find yourself feeling inadequate and with a desire to prove yourself in the context of your home or life.
I began my homemaking journey about 20 years ago. A time when social media wasn’t anywhere near a part of our lifestyle as it is now. A time when comparison was present, but we only had a few other women to compare ourselves to. Not the entire world of carefully curated videos and images telling us that our homes were not good enough or what we did in them was not sufficient.
Today’s woman is bombarded with these images and ideals from all around the world and if she isn’t careful, she can find herself burned out to her core trying to keep up. But there is no race, no such ideal or standard we need to be guided by other than our own. The truth is we are the gatekeeper’s here as it should be. We decide what should be done, brought in or taken out of our spaces. Ultimately, this is our world to create in and a place to express our own individuality as a woman. Yet, many of us have forgotten this.
We try to prove ourselves to our husbands, our parents, other women and even ourselves at times, that we are capable and worthy people. We pile on the to-do list a day of productivity and at the end of many days, beat ourselves up when we fail to “get it all done”. We are influenced into thinking that a busy schedule means we are somehow more important than when we are not. We guilt ourselves for resting and are told that pain and striving is something to value. Whereas pleasure is selfish and something we need to earn. Like a vacation or a day of rest.
The thing is none of this is true. Nor does it serve us to continue believing it.
Finding Grace
Instead of criticizing or shaming ourselves, what if we offered ourselves grace? Grace for days when we don’t measure up. When things continuously go wrong or when we aren’t the mother we strive to be. Can we lay our head down at the end of the day, a time when we all tend to recap the day’s events and decide in that moment that we deserve grace for our mishaps?
As women, we very easily nurture others. We share our love and offer compassion to a close friend, or family members without a second thought. We give so much at times that we neglect the lady behind it all, ourselves. Without the realization that we need these vary things too. In fact, it is the highest form of self-care to regard ourselves in this way.
I write this to the women out there that strive to have compassion or grace for themselves. The one who works full time outside her home, the stay-at-home mom, and the work-at-home mom. If you are reading this, she is most likely you. A women giving her best and silently criticizing herself.
In whatever season of life, you are in and whatever your home life demands of you, it is essential when avoiding burnout, that you find this grace, for yourself. And you give it on a regular basis.
Symptoms of Burnout
I likely don’t need to tell you that burnout itself is often the result of pushing ourselves for long periods of time to produce in some manner. In a world driven by productivity and perfectionism, it is no wonder that nearly half of all women in the Western world are on the verge of burnout. Whether they work outside the home or not, really doesn’t matter. Since she likely will have unrealistic expectations of herself in all of her roles.
Burnout can look slightly different for each woman. Many experience feeling greatly fatigued and incapable. Feeling mentally and even physically drained is common. Others feel that they have lost their purpose and feel a sense of dissatisfaction with their daily schedule. You may find yourself without any interest in getting things going for the day and procrastinate getting to them. Some have reported physical changes like insomnia, frequent headaches and even a loss of appetite.
Create Healthy Habits
Each of us at different times have been guilty of having unrealistic expectations of ourselves. By now, you’d think we’d realize that having them does not make us a good mom, a better wife or a great worker. It only leads to unnecessary stress, and poor mental health. If we know that at the end of this road, that burnout is what awaits us. Then why do we press on in such a way? The answer to this question eludes me. Maybe we need it called out and brought to our attention since we don’t often see the path we are on until it’s too late.
If you find yourself reading this, feeling tired, with varying levels of stress on the verge of burnout, I want you to know that you are not alone. The good news is something can be done to change this.
Be Realistic
First, set realistic goals, for yourself. Instead of the usual self-sabotage of piling it all on, think of what is necessary and only focus on those things. This might seem like you are not doing enough and trust me, it will feel this way at first. This is because you have likely spent much of your time adding to the list and working toward perfection for a prolonged period of time. This is a habit that must be broken. I promise you, that if you start only focusing on only what is necessary for each day, life will become lighter.
Boundaries
This is where having healthy boundaries in your life can make all the difference. Saying no, can be the best way and only way to protect yourself. Mom burnout is real and if you find yourself saying yes to all the play dates or activities, you can find yourself here quickly. Learn to say no. Pick what is reasonable for your daily routine and leave the extra. At work, set clear boundaries and stick to the daily tasks at home that you can realistically handle in one day.
Rest
Allow yourself leisure time. In our daily lives, we need more than just work to fulfill us. At home take frequent breaks when you can, and this goes especially when you are having a difficult time. Schedule time if you have to. Rest should and can include things like reading a good book, meditation, journaling, being in the garden or taking a walk. One of the main causes of burnout is the lack of rest or time for oneself between all the work time that goes into keeping up a home or when switching from office hours to household chores.
Find Support
Find or create a support system if possible. Having some form of community of women can be your best line of defense from burning out. This can be online or in person. But find them. Find the women whom you relate to, who can support you on your good days and lift you up on your bad days.
Essentials
Doing the little things like drinking enough water and getting enough sleep can be the best preventative measure we can take. Yet so many of us don’t do these small things on a regular basis. If we are not starting at a healthy point, how can we sustain anything? Realistically we cannot and this is where the burnout really begins. So, if you are experiencing symptoms of burnout, begin with accessing some of these basic things. Make them your starting point for turning things around.
Final Thoughts
The ability to access ourselves and make changes when we deem them necessary is the best thing we can do in the long run. As women, we wear many hats throughout our lives and each role comes with its own varying degree of stress. That is why it is so important to check in with ourselves from time to time and make sure that we are caring for ourselves too.
Life is a long, incredible journey and you have been entrusted with the beautiful human being that you are. Make sure to care for her and give her grace for days when she falls short.
Pin For Later
*Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive commissions if you choose to purchase through the links I provide (at no cost to you).