3 Key Elements To Creating a Life You Love

Get inspired with these 3 key elements to creating a life you love. Tips and inspiration for moving through fear and becoming your most authentic self.

Get Inspired

As I grow older, I have begun to understand the fear that lives inside of us. Not just the emotional aspect of fear specifically, but the power of that fear. It is not much of a secret that fear holds us back. It keeps us doing things consistent with playing it safe and staying within our comfort zone.

A comfort zone as I have come to know it, has been a place where dreams go to die. It offers us a false sense of contentedness through the guise of comfort. In reality, it is a place where we are cut off from growth and we become unwilling participants to changes of any sort. Things outside of this zone, become something to fear. No matter what sort of opportunities present themselves.

What does this mean for our overall life? Well, the implication of it translates into a life lived in a way that is not fully satisfied. Often going unfulfilled, unchallenged, and in many cases regretful. If you are reading this, possibly you are one to change this for yourself and I hope that you are.

I hope you can learn to see past the grip of fears that live inside you and find your way through their barrier. To not necessarily try to rid yourself of them as this would be a futile pursuit since we all have fears. But let yourself feel them when they are present and yet, still persist. This is courage. The ability to act even when fear is present. Living life at your highest level will require this from you. 

A Life We Love

What is a life we love? Well, only we can define this for ourselves. I don’t want this post to be about material wealth or accolades although there is certainly nothing wrong with those things. However, they are not necessary components for a living a life we love and they certainly don’t make us happy in the long term. They are what I would call, extras.

Instead I want to define this sort of life as a life that has meaning and substance. A life we can be proud of and feel whole in. A life where we come alive and feel a deep sense of joy. Some aspects include, working a job we enjoy, fulfilling dreams we have, and finding our purpose in life. It is also engaging in interests we have and cultivating relationships that feed our soul.

I want to give you three elements for creating a life you love. Although there are much more we can touch on as these certainly are not the only factors one might consider. But I have found them valuable in creating such a life for myself. As I make my path through life and look back at how things have transpired, I recognize the simple steps that have freed me from my own fears. I find these three to be key to not just creating a life we love but are themselves major players in the element of fear.

Allow me to explain.

Becoming Your Authentic Self

There’s no way round it. We need to show up as our authentic self in life in order to be fully engaged in it. But who is this person? Many of us, have yet to find out.

There are a couple of questions I want to share with you that can help guide you to this discovery. To get to the root of things, so to speak. Yes, it may sound cliché, but it all starts with us. Who we are. The first part is asking ourselves this.

Who do I wish to be in the world?

It seems simple enough to answer and yet many of us never show up as this individual. We go our whole lives blindly living on impulse and outside circumstances. Never looking in.

But see, the key to a better life, I believe, is being our authentic selves. Not hiding behind facades or personalities we have created to be liked, loved, or accepted. But being who we truly are. This means speaking from a place of integrity, expressing our feelings honestly and taking daily action towards the kind of life that resonates with your soul. It means pursuing your passions, and bringing your individuality and gifts to light.

When we ask ourselves, this question, the answer might be surprising and even difficult to pin point. But it is the only way to get to a clear vision and essentially a happier life. This life is where we are our authentic selves.

The first time I asked myself this question, it took me a few days to really answer it with honesty.

Up until that point, I had lived a life trying to survive. Trying to live up to my obligations, overcome obstacles, and earn enough money. In different parts of my life, I tried to uphold other people’s expectations of who I was to them. Whether I was a wife, or a single woman raising a child solely on her own or a big sister responsible for a houseful of children that needed her. No matter your story, the same rings true. That we’ve all been thrown into different life circumstances and found distinct ways to navigate them.

Along the way we can forget parts of ourselves. In the pursuit of creating a great life I think it is important that we take the time to strip away all the noise. Even if just for a moment and ponder on such questions. 

The second part of the question is, what do I want for my life? And furthermore, what does this life look like?

Again another question that might take some time to think over. But the answers to each of these questions can be used as sort of a roadmap for your next moves. I suggest taking a few minutes to write these questions down on a piece of paper. Then, really take the time to fully answer them.

Creating vision boards if you are a visual person. Or simply writing down a paragraph to describe who you are as your authentic self and what your dream life looks like can be a simple thing to do that can be incredibly helpful. The point of these exercises is to get it down on paper and further solidify it in your mind.

Keep the vision board or paragraph in a place where you will notice it on a daily basis. This will help serve as a daily reminder so that you can keep it fresh in your mind. This is key.

Free Yourself From The Critics

One of the biggest gifts you can give yourself is the gift of releasing yourself from the weight of other peoples opinions. Yes, I know, it is much easier said than done. However, when you get to a place of no longer acting on approval from others, or caring what someone else has to say. I am telling you it is a freedom that is next level. For me this began on my very first blog post.

I remember feeling uncomfortable to share my blog with work colleagues or any of my Facebook friends. There, they had knew me as a real estate professional and that was about it. Sharing personal stories from my life and bringing people into my home to watch me cook or share my lifestyle was not something I had ever thought I would be doing.

From the time I started and even up until last year, I had felt more comfortable with strangers following along than people who knew me in real life. As a content creator, I am not sure this aspect is ever going to go away entirely. But I can tell you that the care is gone. I no longer care what people think about the work I do and any negative comments almost make me laugh at this point. To share my heart with the world as a means to encourage and inspire others far outweighs their words.

But even if you are not sharing your life online there is the people we deal with in real life. Friends, co-workers, and family members who love to give their criticism. Sometimes harshly. These are also the people whose opinion we care most about. So they can be particularly hard to get past. The thing to remember here is, that these people also care the most about you.

So take the offense from their words, and remember, most people have an idea of you and when this is challenged or changed, it is their fear showing itself. The fear of you changing their image or idea of you. I say show up as the authentic you anyway. After awhile, it will become old news. And for any friends that can’t handle changes in your life or growth, well, I don’t think I need to tell you that these people just aren’t your people.

Lastly, remember the best close relationships are those that involve authenticity.

Learn To Take Leaps

This is likely the hardest one to conquer. It means action! Movement, and steps forward however that may look. But here’s the thing. Any movement in the direction of your goals is movement. No matter how small. This can be deep diving into the questions above, sitting with a list of goals, telling a friend, beginning the day with affirmations etc. Taking leaps doesn’t have to mean starting a new job or moving to your dream city. Sometimes it is the small steps that make the biggest impact.

When taking those bigger leaps. Whether it is starting a new business, simplifying our lives or traveling to new places. I find the simple exercise of awareness and the practice of being in the present moment to do wonders for anxiety. Something that can have a powerful hold on us when it comes to future plans and worrying about negative outcomes.

I remember the first time I traveled out of the country with my daughter, after buying our tickets on a surge of adrenaline. I held the dream of traveling the world with my girl and here I was taking the first step towards this new path. The days that followed, were some of the most anxiety filled ones I have lived to date.

Was I making a mistake? What if something happened to us so far from home?

The thoughts plagued my mind but I dealt with them by pushing the bad questions aside and ensuring we had tools for safety. A theft proof backpack, cellphones for each of us and even a plan if she had gone out of my sight. I forced myself to focus on the excitement. Our outfits, activities and the places we were staying. I realized if I let myself go too far in the negative “what if” thoughts, I wouldn’t have been able to board that plane.

Thankfully this worked and as a result we have memories that will last a lifetime. And an understanding that the world is not the scary place we can imagine it to be when we play it safe.

The point is, moving through fear can mean a trick of the brain and even a forceful move towards the positive outcomes. Even when the negative thoughts loom. This might take a lot of work in the personal growth department if this is something you deal with. But it can mean the difference between living an extraordinary life and the current life you are trying to upgrade now.

Final Thoughts

Creating a life you love whether that means living a life of purpose, living in your dream house or simply going after your heart’s desire begins first in the mind. In it’s own way it is about making a conscience decision to take the next steps towards our specific goals. To not let them sit on the back burner but rather have them be what we center our life around. It is about finding ourselves, and waking up each day with a renewed energy towards that life.

I once read a quote by Gary Keller, “What we focus on, expands.” It was only after I shed the burden of my old life, that I truly understood his words. In order to live the sort of life that we align with, we need to place our attention there. This takes conscience effort, courage and a belief in ourselves.

In this beautiful pursuit of life, I hope you will have the courage to create a life you love.

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