It’s 7:30 on a Saturday night. I just arrived home from Lowes which was packed with couples arguing in the aisles about what ever home project was happening in their homes. In my house, cabinet painting is about to go down.
It’s been days, literal days since I made my 2020 goal poster which hangs in my kitchen and bears photographs of all my wants and dreams for the upcoming year. Wouldn’t you know it, there is a photo of a kitchen redone. Beautiful green cabinets and butcher block countertops with copper accents.
Where am I in mid November? In Lowes buying green paint. Yes, this is me. A person who gets things done. Wants things now and will not stop until they are exactly as I imagine them. Some would call this drive in me a bit over the top but it’s just who I am.
So the cabinets are sanded, the paper is tapped around all the appliances and I am here writing this. The point of this post? Well I am not exactly sure although I did have the thought to share my insanity as someone reading this might know exactly the kind this is and can relate.
But truly, this is about moving forward on those goals I suppose. Some days I am so caught up in my daughter’s needs or adult responsibilities I get off track with things that set my soul on fire. I find that life is so much what we make of it. It’s our minds that create our experiences. So doesn’t it just make sense to get the green paint and continue on creating a space that lights me up? I think so.
Matter of fact, I know so. We all need to stop our one track, bill paying, responsibility having mindsets from time to time and check in with ourselves. Making our own happiness the priority.
For me, I spend ALOT of time at home. I am a writer, realtor, homeschool mom, gardener and the list goes on and on. Most of these things I do from my home office or other parts of this house. But the point is, this is where most of my time is spent. I want to make things around me feel beautiful, warm and a place where I get to create.
A few years ago, I lost my husband unexpectedly. The moment it happened I went into an all out survival mode that got us through tragedy and helped us to reach this point we are now.
I spent a lot of my marriage living for everyone else. I still did things I wanted too but for the most part I put everyone elses happiness before my own. That meant I didn’t take care of myself as much as I should have. I didn’t dive into my interests as I do now. A thing I will certainly never do again.
You see, we tend to forget about ourselves when we are caregivers and married people. We put our needs last and continue down the path of responsible, doing things out of habit whether we want to do them or not. We are on auto pilot through most days.
Can you imagine your children going through life on autopilot? No you can’t. It would break your heart to think they weren’t happy and being robotic about their own lives.
Now there is nothing wrong with being responsible. I am responsible. But it shouldn’t cost you your happiness. I realized then and know now, that if I put myself first, my daughter will do the same throughout her life. You see where I am going with this?
The point is, we create patterns and the little people around us pick up those same characteristics whether we want them too or not. They are learning from us how to live. So the way I figure if I put my personal happiness first, then she has a happy mom and more importantly I have a girl who understands that to be happy in life is the goal for all humans. For herself. Not to get a degree, not to impress your friends and certainly not to just live to please me. I want her to be happy. Period.
Our lives are special. They are gifts to be enjoyed as much as possible. We never know what tomorrow brings and for that we need to make sure that happiness is in our daily efforts. Otherwise, what is the point of all of this?
Your happiness might not be in having green cabinetry but there is likely something your not doing for yourself or something you’ve dreamed of doing and just put it off the list of important things to do. I am sure if there is something, when you read that last line it came to your mind. Don’t wait to make yourself happy, don’t live for others solely.
Take care of yourself, you are important too. Do those people you love so much a favor and make your own happiness the priority. Do this and it helps everyone around you. I encourage you to add whatever that item was to your “to do” list. Or if your like me, your goal board. Bring it front and center. Look at it, work toward it. Your worth it.
That is all. Now back to those cabinets, because they aren’t going to paint themselves.